Pithy Phrase

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a woman, I put away childish things.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Thank You Autotune

If you shift your gaze upward a couple inches, you will see that I have found a sufficiently pithy phrase to go underneath my blog title!  It is a quotation from the fabulous Madonna episode of the hit television show Glee.  To those of you who are judging me for watching such a depraved show, know that I even watch it on Sundays!  Gasp!  Yes, it is depraved, but it also has fantastic music and hilarious one liners.  Therefore I deem it to be a pleasant way to pass the time.  Plus, as I was the most celibate teenager on the planet, I find the subject matter of Glee particularly interesting by comparison.  Yesterday, while Husband and I were having an epic Glee marathon (aka laying around in our jammies all day watching reruns and gorging ourselves on Oreos and root beer [good old Amurrcan food]), we stumbled upon this awesome phrase and decided we needed to call attention to it somehow.  So now it is my blog's subtitle.  I hope, by and by, the content of my blog will do it justice.

Speaking of Glee, I have been meaning to write about this topic since my blog's inception: autotuning.  I have heard many a music enthusiast deride autotuning as a disgrace to music and a slap in the face to truly talented musicians.  The argument is that by digitally altering singers' voices to hit every note perfectly, vocalists appear more talented than they actually are.  Make no mistake; this argument has truth to it.  Autotuning is used to catapult semi-talented yet highly marketable individuals to fame.  My question is, why is this a problem?  Let's face it, marketability will win out over talent every time (think Milli Vanilli, every season of American Idol, etc.).  But with autotuning, my ears don't have to suffer for it.  Reader, I'm going to be frank, at the risk of sounding conceited.  I am musically gifted.  I know when something's in tune and when it's not.  And when it's not, I may become uncomfortable.  Thanks to autotuning, when I watch my beloved Glee, my ears are not assaulted by ill-sounding chords or poor intonation.  Every song is absolutely flawless.  It's incredible.  We use technology to enhance every aspect of our lives.  Why not this one as well?

Plus, autotuning resulted in this gem:

So here's to autotuning: my impeccable pitch thanks you.


Mhana said...

I also watch Glee, mostly for Sue Sylvester. It isn't the depravity that bothers me -- it is certainly no worse than anything else on television which is mostly garbage. Its the endless preachiness and the oddness of having people be preachy IN FAVOR OF IMMORALITY. Well, we can't expect kids not to drink, so let's have them sing songs about how much they love to drink! I also do not like watching Rachel's mouth when she sings or the way Quinn never seems to have any facial expressions. But I always watch it anyway.

Rachel said...

I love Glee too. I actually think it's a good show for kids to watch, preferably with a parent so that discussion can happen on what is considered appropriate in one's family, and what is not.

I'm sorry you have an perfect pitch ear. I too can tell if something is out of tune, and most of the time the thing that's out of tune is me. So don't sit next to me in church when hymn singing, and always say no if someone asks us to sing a duet.

Rachel said...

Oh yes, and the actress who plays Rachel Berry HONKS. that's almost as annoying as being flat.

Jenna said...

Mhana- My other favorite, besides Sue, is Brittany. I recently read that her one-liners are usually improvised. And you're right about Rachel's mouth and Quinn's lack of facial expressions. I watched Glee last night and was appalled.

Rachel- I don't have perfect pitch, also known as absolute pitch, which is the ability to name any note just by hearing it. I may have some lesser form of relative pitch, which is common among musicians. And don't worry about offending my ears in church. LDS churches contain magical properties that invalidate all vocal talent and training. Only the most devoted vocalists manage to retain their skills while singing hymns in church. It's a rather disturbing phenomenon that many Mormon singers are attempting to combat.